A Morning in the Life of a Stay-at-Home Mother

At 7:30 a.m. I am awakened by not 1, but 2, babies crying. The younger one, Kate, seemed to want to eat all night instead of sleep. After many failed attempts to get Kate to sleep in the conventional parenting book ways, I finally nursed and rocked my fussy baby to sleep at 11:30 p.m. and thought, “It’s okay. I bet she will reward me by sleeping until 6:00 a.m.” At 1:30 a.m. I realized that Kate did not understand the conversation we had as I laid her in her crib and again nursed my baby to sleep (and again at 3:30 and 4:30 a.m.). These are not the kinds of things I share at my pediatrician visits. It seems as if my children know that they are to be good in the weeks leading up to an appointment so I can brag about my wonderful sleepers and eaters. Then immediately following an appointment I come up with all kinds of questions about my children’s behavior.

Anyway, I drag myself out of bed and am encountered by the first difficult decision of the day---which crying baby do I retrieve first? Do I open door A or B and what will I find behind it? I choose to open door A to find my toddler, Kiara, who is not quite 2, trying to hand me her baby. My first thought is, “Oh no thank you, I can’t handle another baby right now.” I smell the reason that Kiara was crying for me and quickly change it while she kicks and hits me. Good morning to you too, I think. I get her pj’s halfway back on before she takes off running. Then I go to door B to find my 4-month-old Kate all kicked out of her blankets and smelled another item to change. Kate wants to be held this morning, so the first mommy trick of the day will be to hold and nurse Kate as I spoon-feed Kiara her Cheerios and yogurt.

Breakfast is accomplished while I can barely keep my eyes open. The thing that wakes me up is when Kiara hits me in the eye with her toy. As I come to, I start to remember the things that I was to accomplish today and the first being to make it to play group at 10:00 a.m. I momentarily contemplate not going. My hair is too messy, I am too grumpy, the girls’ cute clothes are dirty and that means I might need to do laundry, my in-laws are coming tonight and that means I should pretend that I keep a clean house. Ultimately I decide that my girls need me to go to play group and interact with other adults. I need my girls to go to play group so they can interact with other toddlers and babies. Perhaps my children can form a support group of other toddlers where they can talk about what a stress case their mother is. I have found a support group of mothers where I can talk about what a stress case I have become.

The next item of business after breakfast is to try to make myself and the girls look presentable. I start to peel off Kate’s pj’s that she has worn since the night before last and she scratches her face with her claw-like nails. Kate starts to cry and I start to clip her little 1/8 inch nails. Kiara is trying to swing in Kate’s baby swing and is upset that it stops swinging the moment she sits in it.

I precede to get Kate in the bath and as I pull her out of the warm bath and enjoy her clean hair and skin she throws up what looks like curdled milk. It does not smell as sweet as the baby wash I lathered her with. We start over and I am wondering why I did not call in sick today.

After a few more battles and time-outs (for mommy and Kiara), we arrive safely to play group where other mothers have braved the storm and victoriously made it to play group on a Wednesday morning at 10:00 a.m.